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carmillaB
Shining Dragonstar
Joined: 12 Jul 2006
Posts: 541
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 Posted: Sat 15 Sep 2007 8:56 Post subject: ...Chivalry is Not Dead, It Just Needs a Resurrection... |
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Columnists Say Chivalry is Not Dead, It Just Needs a Resurrection
An entire generation of men may have lost the art of chivalry. But, what do women expect in 2007? Advice Columnists Pearls of Wisdom from Three Generations offer 10 easy rules for men to follow and women to use in helping their men become more of a gentleman.
When 30-year-old newly married Pamela Simonson Ferguson went to pick up a large box, she noticed her husband of five months jumping up right away to give her a hand. The New York native was relieved her groom did not have to be asked to assist. Thinking of past boyfriends who might have continued to stay seated, Simonson knew chivalry needed a renaissance.
Usually associated with ideals of knightly virtues, honor and courtly love, chivalry is derived from the French word cheval. It has the same origin as the modern word cavalier and is today, thought of as men being gentlemen in an old-fashioned sort of way.
"We have forgotten age-old gentlemanly qualities," says grandmother Celia Ford. The retired 79-year-old Registered Nurse seldom has to ask her husband of 56 years to do anything. "He is a gentleman to all ladies, well-trained and made certain our two sons, now 53 and 48 followed suit," she continued.
Raised during the depression, Ford, along with her granddaughter Simonson-Ferguson, a Generation X'er, and daughter Theresa Allen, a Baby Boomer, believe chivalry is not dead, but needs a rebirth. According to the advice columnists, speakers and authors, also known as the Pearls of Wisdom from Three Generations, they say it has, in many instances become the responsibility of the woman to make certain the man is behaving chivalrously. Her expectations must be crystal clear.
"You might have to remind him of what YOU expect," said Allen, founder of the Long Island Christian Bible Institute. "He really may not know unless you tell him. It is up to us. Otherwise, how will he know?" Allen also believes an entire generation of men may have been lost to the teachings of gentlemanly behavior because of young single mothers raising sons. Her theory is many young mothers do not know how gentlemen should behave and therefore are not able to teach them their sons. In addition, according to Allen, the media has perpetuated images contradictory to chivalrous behavior.
"If looming iconic figures do not represent themselves in a positive image and if young men are not taught properly by their single mothers, how will they ever know? Sometimes, it boils down to basic respect," said Allen.
Studies have also shown the women's liberation movement may have contributed to the lost art of chivalry. The movement resulted in many mixed messages between men and women. Expectations became muddied and men were no longer clear on they were expected to do. Ford, Allen and Simonson-Ferguson concur it is now time for women to take back their "ladydom."
The trio who were 75, 50 and 25 when they wrote their award-winning collection of family quotes, famous sayings and prayers, Pearls of Wisdom from Three Generations, agree to basic things that they insist their husbands do for them. Their advice, along with the following ten steps, published in their upcoming new book, "Pearls of Wisdom for This Generation" is necessary and relevant for today's time and for both sexes. In the meantime, they urge women take part in a "Chivalry Renaissance" to teach or remind the men what they need to do.
Here are some of the Pearls Chivalry Commandments to help get started:
1. When passing through a door, the gentleman holds it open for the lady, even though he never saw her before. He never passes through the door first.
2. A gentleman removes his hat (yes, including baseball caps) when entering a room where there are ladies.
3. Gentlemen should open a car door for a lady and wait to close it after she gets in.
4. When sitting down to a meal, the gentleman should always leave his cell phone or other electronic device hidden away and turned off. (This one applies for ladies too)
5. A gentleman rises when a lady enters or leaves the room.
6. When walking down the street, a gentleman walks nearest the curb.
7. Gentleman will offer his hand when a lady is descending from a step, van, car, high doorway, etc.
8. A gentleman will offer to assist in lifting items, carrying bags and moving boxes.
9. Gentlemen never walk in front of a lady -- always beside them.
10. A gentleman holds out a folded arm for a lady when walking down stairs, on the street, etc. If she declines his arm, that is up to her.
As far as the large box, Simonson-Ferguson needed to lift? Put there by her husband, it is now on the top shelf of the closet, nice and neat in its proper place. She thanked him with a ladylike peck on his cheek. He smiled.
Written by EditorsChoice |
i read this on a school forum, and this was my reply;
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| i think it's true, chivalry isn't dead. but number 5 on the list? i've only heard of that one in the middle ages. the other ones could be applied to something. now if only they were more specific for girls... |
I also thought numbers 3 and 10 are a little strange.
what do you think about this? |
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Arngrim
Dragonstar
Joined: 06 Sep 2006
Posts: 173
Location: In a pirate ship waiting to take your mind away
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| Posted: Sat 15 Sep 2007 9:09 Post subject: |
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I practice chivalry whenever I can, and I am usually praised for doing so. Chivalry isn't dead, The people who practice it are just very few.
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"You Spoony Bard!" Tellah from FF4.
the Adventures of Sonic the hedgehog TV show was, and still is, awesome.
"Igyrari!" Pheonix Wright in Japan. |
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Vermillion
Dragonstar
Joined: 25 Aug 2007
Posts: 75
Location: Living life on the Murder Scene
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| Posted: Sat 15 Sep 2007 21:29 Post subject: |
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My mate tries his best  ...He holds any door open for me, he walks beside me, not before me, He offers to assist....Hes a Gentleman, I like that about him...
And its true that men should practice even the slightest bit of chivalry every now and again until it becomes habit...the world would be a better place 
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"Silence! I KILL YOU!!" ~Achmed the dead terrorist |
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carmillaB
Shining Dragonstar
Joined: 12 Jul 2006
Posts: 541
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| Posted: Sun 16 Sep 2007 10:00 Post subject: |
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i also thought number two applied to everyone, at any time...  |
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Celtore
Dragonstar
Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 264
Location: Arkansas
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| Posted: Tue 18 Sep 2007 19:09 Post subject: |
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| Chivalry isn't dead, apparently, but men who practice it are few and far between. My ex-boyfriend wouldn't even hold a door unless an older lady told him too. |
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Hyraxylos
Shining Dragonstar
Joined: 13 Jun 2007
Posts: 805
Location: Atlanta, GA
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| Posted: Thu 20 Sep 2007 20:17 Post subject: |
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MY CRITIQUE OF MYSELF:
1. This goes for just about anyone else of either gender as far as I'm concerned. I've never really thought much about gender in this issue. I don't pass through doors first because the other person might try to go first and then there'll be a bit of a mess. :P
2. What hat?
3. Same for number one. A door is a door.
4. Well that goes without saying. Cellphones are really obnoxious!
5. Boy would THAT earn me some weird looks. Everyone'd be like "why are you getting up?"
6. Never thought about this one much before, but I suppose I could start.
7. Um... technically I suppose I do uphold this one, but it's just Mom... she has bad knees and really hates walking down stairs.
8. Another that goes without saying, at least from my perspective. It would feel awkward STARING at someone moving stuff and I hate awkwardness. 
9. Check. If I don't uphold this one I get bowled over.
10. In Atlanta, the rule of survival overrides all chivalry and it decrees that you SPRINT across the street and it's every pedestrian for themself. Non-applicable.
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The statement below this one is false.
The statement above this one is true.
This statement is false. |
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carmillaB
Shining Dragonstar
Joined: 12 Jul 2006
Posts: 541
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| Posted: Fri 21 Sep 2007 2:47 Post subject: |
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| Hyraxylos wrote: |
10. In Atlanta, the rule of survival overrides all chivalry and it decrees that you SPRINT across the street and it's every pedestrian for themself. Non-applicable. |
well, the list is a little hard to follow for some things, because it needs an update.  |
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MetatronofRavensWings
Dragonstar
Joined: 31 Mar 2009
Posts: 11
Location: In the ethereal realm of philosophers long past.
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| Posted: Sun 31 May 2009 16:25 Post subject: |
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I have made every attempt at being a gentleman, even going so far as to read through George Washington's Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation at LEAST twenty times, but whenever I hold my hand out to a girl going down the stairs, I get stared at like I'm some kind of creep. I guess it just isn't common behaviour anymore. Ah, I curse you casual society.
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