Cats! Don't take your eyes off them!

[Hyraxylos]

This is a compendium of all the info I’ve gathered* about cats. Most of this applies to ALL cats, including feral cats, large specimens, and mythical varieties such as gryphons, but particularly centers around housecats.




1. Cats are all literally made out of pure fur. Some are solid, and others (such as Weldon) are liquid and can flow beneath closed doorways.
2. At the core of each cat’s body is a mystical cross-dimensional wormhole that connects to the Quasi-Elemental Plane of Fuzz. This is what allows them to generate limitless amounts of fur.
3. They originally hailed from some other planet somehow. Their objective on Earth was originally to establish themselves as deities. They consider this task accomplished presently.
4. Their next goal is to shed on literally everything in the world. This will be the more difficult task due to the presence of other mammals on Earth who also shed frequently, including humans. To prevent any of my brown fur from clashing with her white, Kali makes regular attempts to consume my hair before I can shed it.
5. Cats have many ships and satellites in orbit around the planet that they have to report to regularly. They do so by use of the triangular satellite antennae on their heads, which can rotate all the way around.
6. Bugs are tasty. Yum.
7. Felines can shoot lasers from their eyes! All they have to do is align their heads at a certain angle with a bright light. The Sun and Moon (particularly when full) are popular for this.
8. Most cats are solar-powered, and carry rechargeable battery-cells in their bellies. The cat named Hobbes reveals this in one of Bill Watterson’s strips.

That’s all I can think of. Remember never to trust a cat.

*mostly Alan Snow’s The Truth About Cats
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The statement below this one is false.
The statement above this one is true.
This statement is false.

[Syrobe]

[starwing]

And if one of their laserbeams hits you, you get a rash and start sneezing. As I have unfortunatly found out.

[DragonMancer]

HAHAHAHAAAA!!

Awwwh poor cats.
I own a demented black cat that on Hallowe'en always dissapears for the whole night.
And you can trust cats...well if you wanna live life on the edge anyway.

Not laughing at the whole rash thing with the lazer beam post. just incase anyone thought i was
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On a sleepless evening I sing alone. Tomorrow I'll sing with you on the wings of a dream.

[ShadowBeyondtheGrave]

My cat and Ihave a weird pyshic thing going on, strange, and yeahthat rash thing kind of sucks, (not that I've had it) just think of it as the whole I love you thing, hahahaha.

One more point to make

You don't own the cat, the cat owns YOU!
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The evidence so far outways the reasoning prooving beyond a reasonable doubt that everything you've been told and seen is true and real. Oh yeah, I'M A GIRL!

[Hyraxylos]

As I'm writing this, Kali (the lower one) is literally trying to eat me! It's a CONSPIRACY!!
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The statement below this one is false.
The statement above this one is true.
This statement is false.

[ShadowBeyondtheGrave]

Hahahaha, my cats sleeping on my lap!!
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The evidence so far outways the reasoning prooving beyond a reasonable doubt that everything you've been told and seen is true and real. Oh yeah, I'M A GIRL!

[OrielDrakon]