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Silver Dragon Breath dragon forums
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Ragnarok
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Joined: 27 Sep 2004
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Location: Tucson, AZ, USA.
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 Posted: Wed 08 Oct 2008 12:59 Post subject: |
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| skulblaka wrote: |
| The class itself deals with just about anything (there is one person writing on fairy's and another on Neo-paganism), so if that helps with the subjective/objective aspects any, but i don't know otherwise. |
In an objective piece, you're dealing with what exists. In this case, it would be things you could find in legend or stories, cultural references, and hard (or at least reasonably solid) data. Speaking, of course, just for myself, if the paper were done this way, then it would start, as you did, by addressing the "stereotypical dragon", and then going on to explore how the dragon is perceived in different cultures (different forms of the Western, Chinese and Japanese, American, etc).
In a more subjective piece, it would be more like your opinions on the subject, or things not necessarily bound in fact. Your second paragraph seems to lean more this way, going away from myths and legends and beginning to get into a more speculative "draconic psychology", and later, when you begin getting into draconic physiology, especially the "steam cooling" part.
There are two reasons why I'm asking this. The first is that I'd be much more useful as a resource if it's the former. The second is that when you started this thread, you stated your topic as:
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| I am wanting to write an essay about the common link of dragons in nearly every ancient civilization. |
If you're still trying to do that, then I don't think that it works as written. The initial topic would require you to go fairly wide, but not really go too much in depth. What you have here, however, is something like a comparison of the traditional Western and the traditional Eastern, which would require you to be much narrower, but also go deeper (and, honestly, given the time frame, would be a bit more difficult).
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And, finally, a somewhat tentative evaluation. I'm currently working on a few different things, so I've only really had time to skim through it, but I think I'd give it a solid B right now. Here's why:
You start your paper with a description of the stereotypical dragon, and say that that's a simplistic view of just one type. This opening implies that you are then going to discuss different types to show that there's more than just that kind, but instead, you go into breath weapons, sizes, flight, and only several paragraphs later do we hear about something other than a Western, and that only lasts for a single paragraph. After that, you go into their magical qualities, and end the paper.
It appears, somewhat, that you had two or three ideas in your head while you were writing. First, to compare the Western to the Eastern; second, to discuss aspects of the western (flight, fire, etc); and (possibly) third to make a case for dragons as individuals (dragons as individuals in second paragraph, Easterns going evil as going against type, etc). Section by section, it was pretty good, but I'm somewhat uncertain as to how well those were combined and made into a single paper, thus a B.
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Anyway, try to get back to me on the issue of the main subject, because it's wholly possible that I'm just missing something in your paper.
To everyone else, if I did miss something or if you disagree, feel free to shred my evaluation. 
ETA: Holy cow...double space that and it's on its third page. 
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skulblaka
Dragonstar
Joined: 24 Sep 2008
Posts: 23
Location: the same place as always.
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| Posted: Wed 08 Oct 2008 18:23 Post subject: |
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| Ragnarok wrote: |
ETA: Holy cow...double space that and it's on its third page. |
change the font to Courier New and size to 12 (if it wasn't already). I get my full 5 pages...but i have to manipulate things a bit.
Yeah, I know that i first wanted to show the common link of drakes to nearly every civilization, but that ended up changing when my prof. wanted me to dive more into the fantasy end of things...i'm still not sure if he wants a objective/subjective, but i think i am going to at least try to make the essay more coherent before i hand it it. besides that, i think i'm going to leave it as subjective and get the points off if that wasn't what he wanted.
but, for the sake of general opinion (and my own worries), the descriptions i used were alright?
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Ragnarok
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Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Posts: 1091
Location: Tucson, AZ, USA.
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| Posted: Wed 08 Oct 2008 19:51 Post subject: |
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| skulblaka wrote: |
| Ragnarok wrote: |
ETA: Holy cow...double space that and it's on its third page. |
change the font to Courier New and size to 12 (if it wasn't already). I get my full 5 pages...but i have to manipulate things a bit. |
Actually, I meant my commentary, but sure, that works too.
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| Yeah, I know that i first wanted to show the common link of drakes to nearly every civilization, but that ended up changing when my prof. wanted me to dive more into the fantasy end of things... |
And going into myths and legends around the world isn't "fantasy"? Sheesh...professors....
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| but, for the sake of general opinion (and my own worries), the descriptions i used were alright? |
It's sort of hard for me too tell. As I said before, the ideas are a little too jumbled for my tastes. My suggestion would be to try to narrow it down to a single topic, and go ahead with that, as opposed to trying to mix several together.
How about "dragon's magic as depicted around the world"? Westerns have their fire or poison or whatever, serpents in general are associated with immortality, Tiamat, in death, became the world, the Chinese Lung and Japanese Ryu, which, aside from their pearl, had tremendous power over water or the weather, and the naga, which shares some aspects with the Lung, as well as playing a rather major role in mythology as well. I don't know if you have enough time to rework the paper that much, but I'll just throw it out there.
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skulblaka
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Joined: 24 Sep 2008
Posts: 23
Location: the same place as always.
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| Posted: Thu 09 Oct 2008 5:20 Post subject: |
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maybe...i'll see what i can do...i might be up for a while tonight...
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