Of fish and airplanes

[OnyxCrescent]

Hello everyone, how are you today? I have been reading over the forums for a while now and I feel that you have something that I don't, something that makes me jealous. You are "otherkin", and I know the theme of the board. Sometimes I wish I was one too, sometimes I wish I had something bigger than the life I see around me going on. Maybe I do, actually there is more to it, but what I can see is mostly dark. I am blessed indeed for my dragon companion, so maybe I shouldn't complain at all. I'm not complaining really, this is more of a mental spill, I feel sad today.

Hyraxylos, I read what you had written about your "master", and I can not help but to relate him to the Rabid One. I mentioned him in another forum. He's a destructive, wicked and insane being, a very powerful one too. Your master desires to get you and warp you like he is himself. That's the Rabid One, the Liar for me. And the sad part is that for a while I actually pretty much freely gave into him. He taught me things, but it's all stuff better off not known.
What can you do when such dark things rule over life? Sometimes it's like.. I'm not alive, I'm the walking dead. And particularly unintelligent too it seems. Hmmmm, I can stand at the feet of a dragon who protects and loves me, or I can walk away from her and go play with something that wants to shred my soul. Guess which one I sometimes choose?

By the way, do you all fear anything? What are you afraid of? You know what scares me? Fish! Of all the creatures out there, none is so terrifying as the catfish. In fact, if I go to hell when I die, that's what it will be, me stuck on a small boat out in the middle of a huge dark lake full of catfish and seaweed. I really don't want to go to hell Okay, no more playing with monsters for a while. I don't know if I believe in hell or not, I sure am afraid of going there though

Anyway, does being otherkin give you a sense of hope? Does it make you feel just slightly different when you are out in a group of people? Is it empowering? If you were a dragon, or something else, in a past life, why do you think you ended up in a human body now? Do you think I can be something else in a next life maybe?

Sometimes the Rabid One tells me life is evil and pointless, that a beating heart is of no value. In my darkest times I believe him, but I don't want to. Sometimes I think I should do something great like go to Africa and teach people how to farm. I could do that. You know what else scares me though? Airplanes. Yep, there is travel by boat, but then, all those fish you know... Well look, I'm starting to go all over the map here, so that means it's time to stop. It makes me smile though to be able to talk to you here, you all are the most interesting beings I have recently found. Blessings and good luck and nice day and all now!

What can I say?
The Onyx Crescent

[QueenOfTheShadows]

[Jasriella]

I suppose my greatest fears are letting those who trust in me down. Nothing makes me feel worse about myself than when I'm a disappointment to those of whom that look up to me. Other than that my only other fear is not necessarily the dark but the fact that I can't see in it like I would like to, so I can't tell when its pitch black if something is in their waiting for me.

Being otherkin is not all that great by the way. Ya I get to have the knowledge of the fact that I was once a dragon and belong as one (or so I think), but I have to live with the fact that I will most likely have to live out this life before I will ever get to be one again, and it hurts. There are times when I look up and literally think to myself "a peftect day for flying" and get the urge to leap up and flap my wings, and then reality sets in and I remember that I'm earhbound.

And yes, being otherkind does give me a sense of hope that I will be able to be a dragon again in the next life. I have come to the conclusion the my soul's original form is a dragon, and I believe that a soul doesn't change its form (unless something drastic happens) but can inhabit different bodies, which somewhat explains why I'm stuck as a human for the time being.

It used to be empowering though to think that I was something better than what I currently am, but then I learned that thinking that you are truly better than something and comparing yourself to it only makes you equal or less to what it is that you are comparing yourself to. Some of the members here can attest to that.

Lately when things get dark in my life I turn to a very close friend who is always by my side when I need her. Sorry but I cannot go into mych more detail than that. When I make a promise or an oath I keep it until the one I make the oath to releases me of it.
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I am trapped between heaven and hell. My wings carry me upon the winds. Above lies heaven, below hell. Yet I must land in hell to soar in heaven. I am a Dragon!

[Monarth]

To take a peak on my fears, I fear emptyness. That nothing would surround me... I would be all alone. No whispers of the wind, no surrounding sounds. And other fear is Gandor, my dark side who is my rage, hate and the beginning of my anger. I fight everyday to control it and I've been good so far.

Otherkin, well, I don't really what to say about it. It does give hope to me, since my life hasn't gone very well in some parts which are pretty important.
In otherkin, I've felt a dragon born inside me. Growing and getting stronger and becoming one with me. In my opinion believing is calming and helpful to think and I guess that way, empowering. I feel often lonely, but my faith strenghtens me to carry on. I don't think I've had a past life, but I believe I'll have a new start. Sometimes, I'm lost in my thoughts, sometime I actually see another world there, but it doesn't take long to come back in reality, sigh and continue what was doing.

I live battles of my own. I have no one to turn to, to truly trust. I was created that way, but I'm sure there's a reason for that. A reason I haven't found out yet... I'm very suspicious person, which blocks me often from trusting. That's the way I am and kinda happy about it since if I'd tell my secrets and other stuff to people, well, I'd have to face some consiquences.

PS: Whoa my first LONG post
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Why do we avoid the rain? It feels different on our skin, it feels cold, but still, it's part of our nature, part of us and yet, it creates life... We don't have to avoid it...

[Hyraxylos]