Soulmates

[Hyraxylos]

I'm writing here about my thoughts on the nature of romance carrying over into spirituality because I suddenly felt inspired to do so out of nowhere, and also because my last English essay is stressing me out and I need to rant a little, and furthermore because I'm curious on the opinions of others about the subject.

The explanation of "soulmates" that I'd like to attack, to give an unflatteringly-rough summary (feel free to correct me about it if I've got this all screwed up), is that some time ago a soul was divided in half for some reason, and that the two halves are "meant" for each other or "predestined" for each other, and then they fall in love or something and then merge back together and... yay. Happily ever after or whatever.
This belief is, I think, just another example of how selfish we can be in stating that the universe was somehow made ONLY FOR US ZOMGZ. I can understand (and believe of course) that two souls can have been made for each other, but only by their own design, and that to instead lump that together with "true love" or to say that it's the will of "The Universe" instead of that of the divided soul is far too much of a stretch.
By this definition, with the "merging" stuff, Master and I could conceivably be labeled as "soulmates". But beyond that point the entire label falls apart completely, because we have no fondness for each other whatsoever. We are tolerating each other's existence only temporarily, so that we can achieve something as two which we couldn't otherwise accomplish as one, and then we'll both rid ourselves of each other forever. The idea of fusing together with someone I love HORRIFIES me; it not only means that I could never be allowed to see that person again, it would also mean that I would be forbidden to love them ever again because it's impossible to love oneself.
It should also be predictable enough that I think the whole "predestination" schpiel is a load of @#%&, whether on the topic of love or in pertaining to anything else. I do believe in some sort of determinism of physics, but I don't believe that determinism is the "highest". It's like how the Conservation of Momentum theorem states that momentum is preserved UNLEEEEEEESS... etc. To put forward that two creatures fall in love because they're commanded or designed to do so by "The Universe" makes it seem more like one of those cruddy family-arranged fake-looking farcical "betrothal" things than actual love.
I've fallen in love before, and it was completely by freak accident. We weren't specifically "made" for one another, we just happened to enjoy one another by coincidence. The two of us weren't made without flaw either, and those flaws did on occasion get in the way. But that to me doesn't cheapen the nature of love--on the contrary it does quite the opposite, providing me with the encouraging knowledge that it was by the will of nobody at all except ourselves.
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[Shiari]

I've never heard of the idea of souls being split to create soulmates. But then again, I've never done much research into the topic because useful information is usually buried under 35 metric tons of fluff. I personally feel that a 'soul mate' is another being with whom you are eminently spiritually compatible, and there can be many many such.

I consider my boyfriend to be one such, and even if we don't work out (gods forbid!) I'd still consider him such simply because when I'm around him I feel like I'm home. My spirit sings whenever I'm near him and it has done so since shortly after meeting him. I don't doubt that there are quite a few people in the world who could do such for me, but it's a big world and I count myself lucky to have found even one.

I also dislike that people seem to think they *need* to find a soulmate. What happened to simply finding someone you can love?

[Jasriella]

This is a new concept to me as well, and most others I would bet, but one that fits none-the-less.

My take on soul mates is probably not too logical but but its what I feel so oh well. The way I see it, when a soul is "born" (so to speak), it constantly searches out for a compatibal mate.

Now to me souls do not have a gender until they inhabit a body of which has one and then it is only during that time. So it can be any soul, meaning that there are/can be more than one compatibale mate. Once the soul finds a mate, they "bond" and the souls somewhat meld together. They can then proceed through their many lifetimes, both inhabiting separate bodies and coming together sometime throughout their lives.

I do think it is possible for the souls to somehow decide that they can no longer remain bonded and thus search for a mate all over again, but from this point on I have no theories for as of yet.
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I am trapped between heaven and hell. My wings carry me upon the winds. Above lies heaven, below hell. Yet I must land in hell to soar in heaven. I am a Dragon!

[Draquenvar]

I tend to agree with most of this, actually. Hyraxylos, I know you started this topic after talking to me, so you probably already know my opinion, but I'll share what I feel anyway.

A soulmate, by my definition, is the one person that (I couldn't put it better, Shiari) one feels at home with - very comfortable, safe, and happy. This does not mean that there are never any problems. There are many possible soulmates, and someone may have more than one (not at the same time), but a soulmate is often forever.

Soulmates are not predetermined, they are not a split soul, but they feel happy together, form a wonderful bond, and affect each other in such a way that they meld together (not merge, mind you), just like Galadreil said.

I also think that a soulmate is a love with whom one has close spiritual feelings (possibly out of similar beliefs about the soul and other things). The bond is deeper than just mutual attraction and physical touch.

Although I certainly don't believe in the predestination stuff, I will say that, to me, there is a certain aspect of the concept of soulmates that is "being meant for one another." This meaning that the personalities and spiritualities match up well. A good analogy for this might be blank puzzle pieces. In a world of billions of white puzzle pieces, you might be able to find a lot of puzzle pieces that fit okay, and a few that at least SEEM to fit perfectly. To me, a soulmate is someone that fits with me in that "perfect" category (even though theoretically there could be more than one of the same shape).

Another thing I want to mention is that no one is truly perfect - in fact, I believe this to be impossible, because I think that if a mate were "perfect," things would get boring, and then it wouldn't be perfect. Every relationship has its bumps in the road, including mine. But I still consider my mate to be awesome and one-of-a-kind, and I feel no hesitation in referring to my mate as my "soulmate."

I think I covered everything...I hope this all makes sense.
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Rawr.
-Draquenvar

[dfangd]

I don't think many use the term "soulmates" in the way you described, Hyraxylos. When someone uses it to describe his or her significant other, my mind generally perceives it as a strong personal affinity for another... in other words, they have found their best friend in their "mate". For example, I know several people that understand me almost as well as I understand myself... and I truly do love them, just not romantically. There are a select few who I jokingly refer to as my "soul-siblings". That doesn't mean our "souls are joined" in any way (I don't know if I even believe in souls...), but I feel as if they have a very good grasp on the consistency of my personality and all the quirks that go along with it. *sighs* If only one of these people were male (or wasn't my brother figure). Alas, that's not the point.
I personally think that the concept of "soulmates" and "love" are taken too lightly. I have known countless people that started spouting off "I love you"s within three days of the start of their relationship. I also know people who claim to have met their soulmate just because there is a passionate chemistry between the two, only to have the fire burn low after a few months and die altogether. I, personally, have never felt inclined to alert my significant others to false, "spur of the moment" feelings, let alone proclaim that they're my soulmate. Like I said... I want my man to be my best friend as well. *shrugs* It hasn't happened for me yet, but I am more than willing to wait. I have found love in several other places... and I'm not about to make a mistake in that particular department of love.
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.:. Nasroniala .:.

[Jasriella]

You know....thats extremely true. I already made the mistake of jumping to that perverbial "L" word after only knowing the girl for less than a week. At the moment I was lost in the passion of false love and acted on it, causing her to keep her distance from me for the rest of the school year. I have recently found someone that after a few months of debate and hard thought, I decided to ask out on the basis that we were already becoming good friends and it seemed that she took a pretty good interest in me so just before Valentines day I bought her a rose and asked her out. We've had a couple outings since and every day at school we hang out. We've been together for only little more than a week now so I've been keeping my feelings under control and I've been doing my best with just being myself which is why she said yes in the first place. We haven't gotten "romantic" yet although she has given me the obvious signs as I walked her to her apartment. I'm taking it slow this time and I don't want to make any sudden moves that could ruin what I have come to enjoy.

And yes, I have found both throughout society and personal experience that "Love" is taken way too lightly. Its not something that can be rushed and it takes work on both sides, no matter the level of compatibility and affection.

Another thing, the way I think of the soul and soul mates kind've broadens my opportunities for love. As I said earlier, to me the soul has no gender and once bonded, the two in separate bodies search out eachother and it is possible that they could be the same gender. Just keep that in mind when you're out searching for "the one".
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I am trapped between heaven and hell. My wings carry me upon the winds. Above lies heaven, below hell. Yet I must land in hell to soar in heaven. I am a Dragon!

[dfangd]

I've never really been blinded by intense feelings in that way... which is also a bad thing. Sometimes I am so cynical and calculating that I forget how to let myself go, and live life in the moment. Sometimes I wish I could be unbound, and freely believe in the possibility and potential goodness of all that is around me. Sadly, that is not the case. I've been hurt several times by the people I love the most, and as a result I'm more cautious, less trusting, and a bit more closed than I used to be. Don't get me wrong, I'm a happy person and am outwardly outgoing and bubbly (more in RL than on the internet...), but I monitor everything I say, for they act as a time bomb that can be thrown back in my face at any given moment. This includes "I Love You"... which, when mocked by the person you love, is the most devastating weapon of all.

And yes... well as I said, I don't really believe in souls as a physical "thing" or something tangible. To me it is merely an idea to encompass one's mental being. I therefore do not believe that souls are detached from the body, since the mind is a part of one's physical being. Outside of the body, one cannot exist, so I think that gender is very much a part of one's "soul". I look at the men and women who have lost brain activity and sit in hospitals years on end... and I realize that, without the physical aspects of one's mind (IE the brain), the "soul" expires along with its host (in my opinion, at least). When I came to accept this idea, my idealistic view of Otherkin faded away as well. I was no longer "Nas-the lawbreaker banished to earth as punishment for treason" but Alaina, a girl who's spirit is guarded and encompassed by Nasroniala. I am her, and she is me, but not in the way I had originally thought.

Aaaand lesbian acts definitely do not appeal to me *snorts with laughter*. Not that I'm against it... I personally could never do such things, however. :/
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.:. Nasroniala .:.

[Jasriella]

I've only spoken of this once to someone here but I feel that keeping this hidden from the world has been doing more harm to me than good. I have always preferred women as loving companions, but there was the occasion that I was with a guy for a few months. I'll just leave it at that, I'm taking a big step here in finally admitting this even to myself but what I said earlier I stand by.

And I feel very similar in regards to how guarded you say you are, the difference is though I'm usually unemotional and quiet with moments here and there of joking around. Everything that comes from my mouth or winds up in discussions online I say carefully and sometimes if you're really attentive there is actually another message in what I just said.

I have developed a saying that could be applied to you as well minus the dragon part.

"A dragon chooses his friends with the utmost care for it is not our enemies that can harm us the most but those that we keep close to our hearts for we give them a power over it and they can easily tear it asunder."

In my opinion, when a person is brain dead the sould has left the body. Sometimes its only temporary but without a soul a body is hollow and lifeless, wether it has a beating heart or not. When the body does die, the soul leaves and waits for the opportunity to be reborn or pass on.
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I am trapped between heaven and hell. My wings carry me upon the winds. Above lies heaven, below hell. Yet I must land in hell to soar in heaven. I am a Dragon!