Magick, yes or no?

[OnyxCrescent]

Hello. I have been thinking a lot lately, and would like to ask about your opinions or ideas about magick.
Myself, I used to play around with it at one point in my life with basic witchcraft and ritual magick as outlined in the book "Modern Magick". I could see slight results here and there, namely in the way that people seemed to pay more attention to me. But no results to really write home about. Then I put that down, because at the time I was Wiccan, but decided I didn't really believe in those particular gods, since I was raised Catholic.
Some years pass, I'm older now, and I once again had come to magick and a neo pagan type way of thinking, but this time I have all this rage pent up, and a desire to just lash out at the world. So what do I do? I go into what people call "black magick". What I would do is when someone I didn't love made me angry (such as someone at work or in the neighborhood) I would come in all angry and upset, clenching my teeth and balling up my fists. I would channel all of this energy and send it out into that person with the order to "attack!"
Now, sometimes I would see something happen like the person may get slightly sick or something, but nothing really impressive ever happened. Mainly, I just felt better for having discharged a whole flood of negative energy from myself. This used to upset Keela so badly, and I'm sorry for that now, I don't do it anymore.
But what I'm getting at is, do you believe in magick? I'm not sure I do so much anymore. I mean, if the results were bigger I would, but as is, I don't know.
I don't know what religion I am anymore. I hold so much anger at the god I used to know, but I can't quite bring myself to love other gods yet, though there are a few who I believe are out there.

The Onyxcrescent
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One if by land, two if by sea, and if by missile, forget about three

[Hyraxylos]

Huh-boy. I'd have addressed this when it first came up if I could've, but w/e.

[OnyxCrescent]

The basic point is, even though I wish magick was real, I think it's all fiction. I will think this way until someone can show me otherwise. It's neat to talk about and fun to practice, but other than self gratification, that's about as far as it goes.

Hmm, I am aware that I am not a religion. I thought you would understand what I meant, silly me. For the most part, I believe in one god, whom I am angry with beyond words and feel abandoned by. He's like, the parent who never calls, writes or visits or shows any interest in my life whatsoever. So, I'm searching for other gods now. To what end though? How do you force a love or respect for someone you have not met? I did however have a dream a while back in which the god Thor sent three angels to give me a robe made of golden silk. So, maybe Thor has put an application in? We'll see.

Anyway, on to other things for now. Take care until next time.
The Onyxcrescent
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One if by land, two if by sea, and if by missile, forget about three

[Jasriella]

Well in my opinion magic, if it ever truly existed here, is almost or completely gone from this world. So far I haven't been able to come across something that I could not explain either scientifically or paranormally. So at least for the time being magic is not for this world, but perhaps in another.
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I am trapped between heaven and hell. My wings carry me upon the winds. Above lies heaven, below hell. Yet I must land in hell to soar in heaven. I am a Dragon!