An abbriged but able to be edited story of my life

[Solid]

Meh, sorry for jumping in, but here's my two cents.

First off, it seems you have nothing you are proud of. Pride is like respect, it has to come earned and never given freely. Work on your writing. Study for test and just play video games up to the wee hours of night practising online. All of this takes time the end pay off of..ummm "Pwning teh haxor noob" on CS:S should be worth it. Having the pride of know that you are good at something is a great feeling.

I've been playing music for almost six years now, I play the bass guitar and have been playing it almost every night since I first got it. At first I was horrible I knew nothing about music or my instrument. I couldn't tune the thing I could play the thing asides for the simplest of songs. But slowly as I played I learned. After a year I was learning to solo and gallop. I was creating melodies and riffs. They were basic but I knew I was advancing and that's what keep me playing and still playing. Now I can play songs that range in 200th tempos I gallop at a wonderfully fast 170, songs like Master of Puppets and The Coming Curse, and I know that I can still get better.

This is what you need to find, a skill that you love to work on. To find yourself getting better gives you a better feeling then being better, is what help me get out of the same problem your in now.

Also your not worthless nor stupid. The mere fact that you can pull out these long paragraphs is proof that you have intelligences. Your not worthless because some one who is worthless is someone who has no drive to be better. You seem to have a drive to make yourself stronger by questioning yourself all you have to do is take the next step and work to be stronger. But you are a ninny for thinking your worthless.

If you want to become a better writer I'd say join a story. There simple, you merely tell a story are help in the part of it. Read though some of the stories in the "Story Telling Section" and the "Story Telling Archive". Study how the post are made. It should be something like this.

Story teller 1 Posts: Hei stood sat heavily on a wooden chair and propped his feet up on the table. His muddy boots staining the white table cloth. "So," He said, "This is my home, make yourselves comfy it's going to be a while until the guards stop their search."

Story Teller 2: Iseka looked around the room before taking his own seat. She gave Hei a cold glance, as if she very much liked to hurt the cocky man. But instead she asked: "How can you be so sure that we won't be found out?"

Story teller 1: "Simple deary," Hei said stretching his arms, "The spells the Mages Brood placed on this house make inaccessible to all but those who are welcomed by it owner. Which is me."

Hei looked at the three in his room. "So you better not get any funny idea or I'll shove you out into the rain and lock the door."

Story teller 3: Karma laughed and laid the large chest he had been hold down, standing back up his back popped loudly, "You needn't worry Hei." He said good naturally. "Iseka and me value honor. We won't be taking any unfair spoils for ourselves."

Something like that, post are normally longer and more detailed, Describing the characters actions thoughts and feelings. But go give it a try it's a very fun and addictive. You tend to meet some very neato people...even if there are a little hypocritical at times...
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Rest in Peace, Ronnie James Dio, from Mortal to God, Rest in Peace.(1942-2010)

[Eidolon Nagendra]

Well, what seems to be my problem with getting better at things with practice, is that I do not really improve. I've played the trumpet for 8 years now, and I still not even close to proficient at it. I've played the same video games, like Pokemon, as long as I can remember, and yet I still lose to so many people who put no effort in at all. And there is one thing I am proud of, I am proud to be different. I am glad that I am not like the people that mock others and cause them low self esteem, and hurt people and think they are so high above everyone else. But I don't know myself, and I might actually be like that, I often worry that I am not what I am trying to be, since I have a low success rate on so many things.
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Thoughts at night always leave me crying,
I am dead inside, and somehow still dying.

[Shiari]

Practice depends on how much effort you put into something. Do you practice one a week or several times a day? Do you go into practice with the intent of pushing the limits of your current skill level, or do you just do the same thing every time.

Honestly, you also seem to enjoy wallowing in self pity. It's one thing you certainly excel at, and you seem to want us to pity you too because you keep coming out with more excuses.

You lack willpower and seem to be subconsciously proud of this fact. So you need to take yourself in hand and DO something.

This is the last I'm going to bother with this thread for replies because you don't want to change anything.

[Hyraxylos]

If you're like me and fail to accomplish a lot of things because you keep switching tasks ADHDishly, then try making a list. Save it as a WordPad file on your desktop or something. Another problem I've got is I get lazy at times, and decide I no longer feel like putting effort into the long-term goal I'm working towards. When that happens I can resume where I left off with something else.

If this isn't something that'd work for you, then the only other thing I can think of to advise is to learn to push yourself.
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[Eidolon Nagendra]

I think I know the problem, its only now I'm going to say it, since it seems quite likely, however embarrassing. I guess I just crave attention, which I know may be really common and obvious, and I probably shouldn't be embarrassed. To be completely honest, all I want is a friend who will do things with me, so I don't have to be alone. But now I know I will never get one this way, since I've just made people mad. I guess I need to learn something else, and wait until the feeling passes. I'm sorry to say the least, but I know it doesn't cut it all of the time, so I'll just try to find another way of redemption, to those who feel it might be necessary.
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Thoughts at night always leave me crying,
I am dead inside, and somehow still dying.

[Hyraxylos]

WHY SO SERIOUS! (no, that reference will never get old)

...No really, what's with the weird grave-looking language about "redemption" and such? You haven't pissed anyone off here, so I don't get where it's coming from. The only possible explanation I can think of is that you feel you've "unloaded" too much onto others, which is something I've never understood. I never manage to comprehend why people feel guilty for venting about themselves, and I've also never understood why some other people reinforce that by saying "Don't tell ME how your life sucks, MY life sucks!" It's a very strange fallacy to make. Why don't we ALL complain to each other at once and make things a lot simpler? It's not like it costs us anything! Check these out:

1. I have friends going through difficulties and I can't help them in any manner that requires something beyond simple words. This makes me feel helpless, and I can't tolerate helplessness.
2. With a group project I'm working on with four other students in a technical writing class, we've all spent the whole project duration struggling just to figure out merely what to DO exactly, and one person in my group is beginning to panic.
3. I'm not going to graduate fast enough for my own liking because I'm not taking in material at the same pace everyone else is. This leaves me with an overwhelming hunch that this technically makes me a stupid person.
4. I keep going through moments where there's too much to do and not enough time, in between OTHER moments where there's too little to do and too much time.
5. Over the years I've had friends who weren't as... let's say "grown up" as I was at the moment approach me and ask me for help. I've helped them and they always turned out in the end to grow up faster than I do, and then I feel like they're moving onward without me and leaving me behind in the dust, feeling outgrown. These people include people who've complained about the same things you've complained about here. I'm happy for them finding their way, and it does make me feel special for having made a difference in someone's life, but at the same time I feel like there's something wrong with me that prevents me from advancing and maturing MYSELF at the "correct" speed.
6. I keep thinking about "big" problems like pollution and end up making myself feel depressed.

Um... I think that's all I've got for now. This doesn't burden you to look at though, does it? Are they the most significant life issues possible? Heck no, in fact that sort of falls under #5. But they are nonetheless irritating.

Your problems, by contrast to just about anyone else's, look small. Some part of you is probably mocking you just for posting them, interpreting them as meaning somehow that you're not significant enough to warrant being worried over. I happen to disagree however, due to my (heavily) summarized interpretation of everything that's going wrong on your end:

"My life is gradually slowing to a dead stop."

This doesn't look like a "juvenile" issue to me. Actually it's a pretty serious problem and I don't envy you. However I can tell you one thing about you that impresses me, and it's your courage in opening up like this to everyone here. I think you've still got a chance. :3
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