On my honor

[OnyxCrescent]

Hello, I haven't posted in a while, I've been occupied elsewhere, but I've missed you all.
I was wondering, do any of you ever take time to do self evaluations? I have been reading the book _The Legend of Huma_ again (the first time was about twelve years ago maybe?) and it lead me to think about some things. For those of you who don't know it, the book is one of the Dragonlance series, and it is about a knight who falls in love with a dragon as they fight an evil goddess.
I have always been fascinated by the idea of knights, and I used to fancy I could be one, when I was younger. They still fascinate me though. One of the main reasons is because of the honor that they are often depicted as holding.
I had been outside reading, and considering this word "Honor", and I realized I didn't really know what it meant, so I looked it up. The definition I found says that it is a nice sense of what is right. Another definition is integrity of moral and personal strength of character.
I wonder then, what is my character? How strong is my character? May I be perfectly honest here and admit that I don't have my life together? I'm not the best example of a person out there. In fact, I believe that I have little to no honor at all, which maybe is why the knight strikes such a chord with me, is because it represents that which I am not, but wish I were.
Have any of you ever looked at yourselves and not liked what you saw? I don't want to start an altar call of shortcomings, but can you relate to what I'm saying?
-- The Onyxcrescent
_________________
One if by land, two if by sea, and if by missile, forget about three

[Jasriella]

I'll have you know that your so-called knights in shining armor usually didn't adhere to this code of honor as you would like to think. Most were boastful liars who pillaged, raped, and burned cities for greed and glory and wrote down their tales as magnificent ventures. There's a reason that era is called the dark ages.
_________________
I am trapped between heaven and hell. My wings carry me upon the winds. Above lies heaven, below hell. Yet I must land in hell to soar in heaven. I am a Dragon!

[Namhias]

True, but the whole setting was different. Back then, when you burned a village of a neighboring country, the commoners would cheer and write songs about it, giving great honor to the "heroes".
Today, we shudder at the thought of killing hundreds of people, but back then... It isn't our most beautiful part of history...

Today, honor can be somewhat described as an ideal, something to be proud of. The meaning, or rather the reasons of having honor have changed over the centuries.

I had to clarify that. Although it wasn't entirely on topic.

[OnyxCrescent]

Maybe I should have stated that it's an attraction to the romantic idea? I know the real deal knights were often times less than honorable. You missed the whole point of my post Let me redirect you back to it, and ask again. Have you ever looked in a mirror, so to speak, and not liked what you saw?
--The Onyxcrescent

EDIT:
If the last post sounds a little cold, I'm sorry. I don't mean it, I've just been in a bad mood lately, and feel like fighting all the time. I don't mean to insult anyone.

Please don't double post. ~Namhias.
_________________
One if by land, two if by sea, and if by missile, forget about three

[Hyraxylos]

I've looked in a mirror and seen some rather bad acne.

...OK seriously. The moments where I spontaneously begin to feel rotten about myself do not occur as a result of my "looking within"; they just suddenly happen from nowhere. They're usually dismissible though if I do some real searching.
_________________
The statement below this one is false.
The statement above this one is true.
This statement is false.