Evolution

[Dacorian]

Thank you for your explanation.

You think that he just wants to use me? I can not blame my lord if the pictures I get to see are his past. (Sorry, I call him like that) Understanding a vengeful soul is through life experience to figure out what he wants. his language is almost unintelligible and I really feel it, using human flesh. The feeling is indescribable, but the thoughts are devastating. I can feel his whole body and mind only partially, enough to communicate.

I can not talk to him like he's in front of me like from person to person. He taught me a lot, and show its beauty, even if he is a male, I'm attracted. I can not just say he used me. But his hatred for the world worried me because it also occurs to me, very much, for no reason.

I would do anything to understand him more. And why go with a human if he hate's them and other creatures so much?

Dacorian.
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My thoughts are not pure, white doesn't exist in my eye's.

[dragonflame]

Now, I post this after having read through your posts. Text can't convey feelings too well nor do I know how it's like to be possessed by a dragon soul. Please have this in mind as you read my replies. I am simply suggesting what I think would be best.

Now, one thing which I would like you to do is, mentally look the dragon (lord Brownie ) straight in the eyes and tell him vengeance is futile, whatever he is vengeant for. The thought of it can keep you going, but it will never be constructive.

Also, think through some "what if" scenarios. For example, he could only be using you to complete whatever objective he has. Yes, it might feel good, but it could be that he'll dump you right after, with the problems.

Also, if he tells you you can't talk with others about him, ignore that. The first step of making somebody manipulable is to cut off their contact with others. Yes, you are allowed to write whatever you want (As long as it's within the forum rules )

Now, I have a very confrontative (Is that even a word? XD) character myself, I would just step up to him and ask him to clarify himself.

And, I would like it if you gave us more information about his character and how much it influences you. You mentioned that you have talked about killing. If his hatred does make you feel like killing something just for the killing, I would really suggest that you straighten him out and tell him to keep his emotions inside at least a bit.

Also, you say that he can make you mislead and deceive people. In what way?

"Every life is the same" I personally think everyone is unique. I think life is ultimately about love and fun. But of course, I am still young, and haven't gone through anything really hard yet, nor have I been hurt really bad yet. All I can say is, when you hear the purr of a cat in your lap while looking at the stars, your worries will melt away (: (At least for me). Try doing something... happy with Brownie, instead of always being hateful. Also try to talk to him normally instead of just bowing down, he might just want to be understood by someone. Maybe it is one of your character traits that made him pick you. Or maybe a high resistance to hatred. Whatever it is, if he's full of hate, he probably needs someone to help him.


Just as replying to Hyraxylos' topics, it's hard to guess what your actual situation is and how you communicate with your possessor (I made my second word today, woohoo! =P). Too bad they can't just hop 'hosts' so other people can try to understand them, too. :P

[Dacorian]

Thank you for your side of vieuw flame, but please be a little more polite with names. I don't like to read that about him.

There are times that I embraced his hate as there is a connection between us because I am a dragonkin. I try to help him and understand him sometimes why this negative outlook on life. But he will not leave me, I am sure. It is not a form of illness or self-glorification, but I think he's just looking for someone who can absorb and understand without too many questions. I've talked with other dragonkin and explained to them about his actions but they rejected it all off.

He would not be afraid to kill humans and animals out of frustration and that I must take care when it comes to my energy. He showed me why, but I can not break my life to his will. Society would banish me if i would do that and I try to make him understand. My soul is old but he is much older and comes from other times. He is so beautiful, so that I almost feel gay sexual energy (I am not one in human life, I hope I may say that).

I know pretty much what he wants, but I am not always follow his decisions because he isn't fully aware that contemporary life is totally different than he thinks. It's a real puzzle, but I feel love for him. therefore I will not argue with him too much and certainly not ask for requirements.

Dacorian.
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My thoughts are not pure, white doesn't exist in my eye's.

[dragonflame]

Oh come on, a little ridicule is the basis of a healthy society :P. That's what we have comediants for. I'm sorry if I offended him though. If you care to know, it's in my nature to (in a friendly way) challenge those who are given authority by others ^_^ (It makes me feel alive). I'm very rebellious . That may be why I don't have a dragon spirit hanging somewhere around me (that and the chaos that is my mind) :P. Although I don't know how much of what I type here goes through your thoughts. Maybe it is my own character that makes it feel wrong that you worship to something non-perfect, but I'm only trying to help (: .

"Beautiful" Love or lust?

"He would not be afraid to kill humans and animals out of frustration"
That is really the line. Really. You should ask him, if you're going to ask anything at all, if he knows the value of life. Feeling miserable/having hate is bad enough already, but taking that out on innocent others... If out of all the advice I'm ever going to give you you would only listen to one thing let it be this: Don't give him control of you for as long as he doesn't respect life.

I'll be blunt here: Do whatever you want, serving him or not is ultimately your decision. If you want to "give him some of your blood", fine. Do to yourself as you wish. Just don't hurt innocent others.

"sexual energy" Maybe he just wants a hug, lol.

Also, his strong emotions will be a burden, are you sure you can carry it without breaking?

This would be so much easier if you had some way to let him type or something :P I'd have an interview with a dragon. A brown, hateful, emotional, hurt one, but probably a fixable one!

Seriously, cheering up is one of the best things to do in the world. Even if you have to do it in silly, even indignifying ways. It's too bad that I can't convey feeling through the internet.

And if you have checked the "Make a picture of yourself" thread, then you should have found out all this is being typed by an inexperienced, immature 16 year old ^_^ I do hope you take it seriously though, as I really mean what I'm saying.

[Hyraxylos]

Dacorian, what you have described here sounds creepily similar to what I went through dealing with my other half. The difference though was that I waited almost seven years before even deciding to speak to him directly. Regarding the thing about riddles, I'd have said the same thing Kimo already said: this "thing" inside you doesn't know what it's talking about when it doesn't give a straight and blunt answer. My "submissiveness" to my shadow was also similar, but from there our similarities end.
I wasn't happy to realize a dragon spirit was possessing my mind, and didn't want to listen to anything he had to say. He only got me to listen by resorting to pure force, and since that moment I've never felt so much overwhelming hatred for another being. I probably never will again either, but more on that further down.
My submissiveness toward Hyrax was feigned, a gesture of "jumping through hoops". From the point I swore myself to him and whatever weird code he followed, I'd made up my mind to use him as a stepping stone, and then to stab him in the back later on (within legal parameters of our agreement) if I got strong enough mentally. He knew this however, and I knew that he knew it, but it didn't really change anything between us.
Fun fact: somewhere between then and the next paragraph, I joined this forum.
He didn't want humans murdered, much less extinct, at least not at first. If he had, I'd have interpreted it as a sign of weakness in him like he had taught me; "why end someone's life when you can fill it with misery instead?" was the ideology he'd introduced to me. However some sort of madness brought on by a combination of guilt (due to forgetting his original purpose of STUDYING humans up close) and my increasing will to fight him for control over my own development, made him eventually lose it completely and he tried to kill me from the inside. After that backfired on him rather violently, he calmed down a tremendous amount and remembered that humans were "animals like everyone else" in addition to somehow being more than that. He still acts like a total jerk to me though and our relationship will undoubtedly remain adversarial until we merge back together. Possibly even beyond that point, somehow.

It sounds to me that this dragon you mention may not actually be a separate spirit. I hope that's the case because it'll make what I need to tell you that much simpler: don't hate anyone. It only makes your other feelings weaker, and yet harder to control at the same time. To hate someone, at its deepest level, really means that you confess to the universe that they are superior to you and have defeated you so soundly that you don't believe you'll ever recover from it. That may not be what it looks like at the time that you're feeling it, and maybe everyone else hasn't had the same analysis of it as I have, but looking back on those I used to hate shows that the description I've just given matches it pretty well.
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The statement below this one is false.
The statement above this one is true.
This statement is false.

[Dacorian]

Thank you for your point of view Hyraxylos,

But what is wrong with hating them in generally? My observation on them have been turned into a psychological battle in myself to maintain faith in humanity. If this faith is gone, you can easily step over dead bodies. It's getting increasingly difficult to accept that I'm stuck in the wrong body, wrong desire and with wrong company. Their stupidity makes me upset, their religions, their ignorance and overpopulation. And the worst part is that I can show no love, experience love or have friendship with them. It seems to be something epic, but reality.

There is nothing wrong with hating, It only hurts in the heart as I think where i'm locked up in, I have to die first to escape this thing but I'm too afraid to be dead.It is only the people on the streets who think feeling hate is wrong. But it is a natural reaction of a man.
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My thoughts are not pure, white doesn't exist in my eye's.

[dragonflame]

(What's his name? You obviously don't like the word Brownie, so what DO you call him? (except for lord))

May I ask, what good has ever come of your hatred?

Also, don't hate them. As long as you are in a human body, you are human too:
One thing I have observed in people, is the tendency to put oneself above the other. Separating your self/group from the 'rest' is the first step in this. Calling yourself special or 'other' the second. Judging the 'others' as lower the third. Once the 'other' has been designated as lower, the step to suppressing them will be very small,

On a side note, since I'm Christian, I have never had faith in humanity, including myself, since we're all sinners. That, however, doesn't mean I have no trouble with death. Somehow the thought of taking the life of another resents me, even though I believe in an afterlife. Knowing that I or another will never succeed at being truly good doesn't stop me from trying to get as close to it as possible.

May I ask why the thought of killing is even on your mind?

[Dacorian]

As you say, we're all human, and to think to kill because of feelings is only human. I'll never do that of course, nobody is worth to throw away my life for them. I do not believe in an afterlife, and once someone is dead ... what is the problem then?

But on the other hand a person matches well with yourself and can be very valuable sometimes. Life after death is only for those who have a purpose after death, and there are no humans divided for that. I don't like to call him by a name, giving a name to something is a human habit and I want that a dragon has as little as possible to do with us. Just because I love him so much and do not want him to be involved in something unworthy and that's why I don't like to ask him much. The belief in the Christian, Catholic and Islam, excuse me for the decision, but it is one of the factors that makes us unworthy. The fear of dying and people look like they do things wrong before the eye's of some god. People can't do anything wrong, their unworthy habbits of life were created from the water and so they will be processed to ash as the world dies.

Higher beings have no authority because they were once of flesh and blood, but they can stand by on another being if they want to. The reason why remains unknown if they don't want to say why. The life experience you get from them deserve your respect, honor and even worship. like a dr..dra...d...this is some of the stupid name's that's been given by one of the people in the past, I hate to speak it out loud because they are not called like this.

Hatred is a feeling, the strongest feeling that a man can express, you can 't fear it, embrace the hate you get from them because if you get to see much through life you get stronger every day, Just be sure you can control it.

Fear not for wasting the blood in another body, only fear the wasting of your own blood. Don't fear the dead, fear the living.
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My thoughts are not pure, white doesn't exist in my eye's.