Sceptical

[Dacorian]

By my own experience, I know only too well that this is one thing that can keep many people busy for a while. The idea that maybe all your experiences may be a coincidence and that you will think that your look to the dragon is only a human psychological reaction to a specific figure. one that makes you daydream visions, memories and dreams of receiving a non-existent figure.

It will and shall be said by people who can't understand what most dragonkin experience, skeptical people around us or just people who are not open to other psychic reactions to people, some psychological, but most of the time, the truth. Now that my experiences and my life is back under control, I've learned many things about dragonkin and the sceptical people next to them. It's an identity that never can be proven, even the most pure dragonkin lose his strong faith at a given time just by looking at other people but not to face the facts which he will drag along with a blindfold on. I am also sure that many will say that he or she is a dragonkin, and make up a fantasy story to seem interesting to others and this deprives others of the facts from his or her experiences in everyday life.

Therefore I denied that I am a dragonkin, a few years long even. The experiences I had were intense and realistic, but could just as well be psychological reactions. Approach people with the strangest stories with you as an epic/cute dragon is unwise because it sounds very implausible. My skeptical days are over, yet I look at things realistically. I have my side of the story and that is not something to show off because it is too realistic for many people. To be honest, I've become skeptical about others and their stories what doesn't match my view but I will not alert them because maybe that person looks at it differently than me because realism is never fun to tell. The human mind always wants te be more than what it actually is.

Therefore I have an advice after years of conflict with myself, look at the facts, listening to what your soul says and what your experiences tell. Do not listen to others, consider, being skeptical may break the facts that you hold for so long and beyond.

It's deceptive how the mind plays tricks with someone. I am against any religion and what effect it has on a human mind who also believe that what they think is the only correct version. I don't agree with what you believe is correct, that belongs to personal experiences and I never believe that other religions give the same as mine, in fact, that they give nothing but lies. I'm not open to these situations. I have done more than ten years until I can finally say that I'm close with them for I am very skeptical person but even the most skeptical people decay when they see and feel. You can't make this as real as you like it, you make it real as the evidence is in your hands. But even with prove, I did not want, I will not and I shall not say what I wanted to hear from my own mouth. Being skeptical and have proof has been a battle between mind and heart which alternated all the time. only when nobody is looking, I can perform actions unintended for the eyes of the ignorant because if it comes down to it the word dragon is a skeptical word for all.

Can I prove it to others, of course not. I can not explain how it feels to die, to hunt to breathe this way, looking at things with totaly different eye's, to breed the way I feel, or how diseases were cured... I would like to prove it to others, but these feelings for me, and me alone and even if I could pass them, I don't think someone could handle them. Sometimes it makes me angry when others go so lightly over this and then the skeptical person rises again.
These are the facts that need to be hold, unbreakable facts for the mind that are difficult to hide with new behavior. The worst part is that I'll never know in this life, something very unlikely, is to ever return to this. It makes me emotional, angry and broken that all these experiences are but convulsions or if the dragon will bite its own tail for me and can begin again. I don't think that part is true. Being skeptical isn't something wrong, it just may not continue if someone is really sure.
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My thoughts are not pure, white doesn't exist in my eye's.

[Tamasciernos]

That is a hard pill to swallow. I understand your passion for the things you have said although I do not understand your vision. I have a hard time following your word structer. I would like to talk to you at some point about your views.
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Happily flying above the turmoil of man I can contemplate my next meal

[Jasriella]

As much as I would like to add a few things of my experience, I feel that this is not the right place albeit it would be on topic. What you've said is a personal view and an expression from you to anyone who will listen. This is the time we should all listen and learn rather than put our own input. Well said.
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I am trapped between heaven and hell. My wings carry me upon the winds. Above lies heaven, below hell. Yet I must land in hell to soar in heaven. I am a Dragon!

[Dacorian]

I have a lot of scientific questions and logical explanations for this phenomenon, but this is a mystery even to me, I never dare to be 100% sure. Although I was confronted with a dragon figure around me for the past 20 years, I never enjoyed it, this behavior is never accepted.

I don't want to be the pathetic one who is looking for attention, sorry if it seems that way, I just hope to get answers from people who know more than me, I was very skeptical and trusted only on the answers that are scientifically correct but what must I do if even psychology can't explain this dragon around me.

It's difficult to find logical statements in this situation, I just want to do what I feel but unfortunately it's not that easy. If I do what I feel like, if I show my dragon face than my life is over. No one will take me seriously but the past events are not just a cause of psychological responses, that was impossible, each feeling has a meaning and I should be able to separate reality with psychology. People who say ' I am a dragon ' without any further information makes me angry sometimes, that's just what they want to be and not fact.

But like I said, it is not a pleasant existence, constantly thinking about the possible explanations, never feel sexual sensations for someone (that really sucks) , multiple faces that you should keep away from anyone so you can't be yourself and force yourself to be social to be 'normal' and failed big time in 1995, 2001 and 2005. hurt yourself with a knife is a psychological reaction I had in 2005, people on the job were worried about me and forced me to get a psychiatrist, something I refused to do but the results were far above the average, I was not as far as I am now as dragonkin I'm not scitsofreen, that is excluded by them.

I never used the word dragon, I could not, I offered resistance with my own mind. The things I have said to myself : 'dragons don't exist, I'm not a dragon, there is no spirituality, why would I have that with more than 7 million people around me, why me?...ect...but eventually I began to change in intellect and even physically. I hope that dragons cannot quickly merge with people, it is very difficult in this society and absolutely no child's play as some might think.

From my experiences over the last few years I'm actually more or less forced to feel and tell positive things for women for saying how attractive they are and defend myself that I am not gay or something because I don't want a girl. As a dragonkin I felt that my evolution to adulthood was not going as it should. I actually never had sexual feelings for women or men, in General, not for people, When I was like 15 years old I felt nothing at all in the presence of a supposedly attractive half-naked Lady. From my awakening... now almost ten years ago I felt only sensation with viewing and thinking of a large reptilian, a feeling that I want to keep hidden for the outside world. This is not what I wanted, that was wrong. I suppressed this feeling for a long time. Sometimes I cursed the Dragon for this, sometimes I was crazy of solitude without the Dragon. "you don't even exist, how can you be more attractive for me?!"
now I am out of puberty, my anger against my draconity is gone. But still now that i'm fully grown I'm still here without love, without reproduction, this is much worse than a normal person would think. I had some girls in that time (and even one guy) and I refused them because I didn't feel anything for their bodies, although I can imagine with human vision that none of them should be called 'unattractive.

I can imagine that other otherkin like me also have had these kind of problems in their puberty, a feeling that is worse than gay sexuality because ultimately people like me will never find true love in this body. Gay people are able to find who they want, some otherkin can't. This can also be completely different with female dragonkin, I don't know that. What I'm wondering for years is whether if there are more people with these problems

The last days...weeks I felt very sick, as if I no longer wanted to live. I always pretend like I'm someone else and after seven years doing my very best to hide what I am it has come to an end, I'm exhausted. Hiding my true self brings a hatred, a feeling that is unexplainable. A person with less sense had done stupid things if that person feels the same as me, but where is the end of the tunnel ... I can't see a light to get out.
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My thoughts are not pure, white doesn't exist in my eye's.

[Jasriella]

You're by far not alone. Myself and a few people I know have little to no sexual feelings or desires towards man kind. Granted the frustrations and desires are there for something else which is quite an impossibility on both ends. I had a very confusing time for a few years but you hit the nail square on the head, as we grow older our minds are more able to settle and reflect on what may be real and lunacy.

Getting answers though from people that know more about you on a subject that by our current reality does not exist, is somewhat also impossible. A person could come off to you with very good logical reasoning and appear to have more knowledge but is only using the same knowledge you have but putting it in a different point of view. Which perhaps is maybe just what we need is a different point of view to find something we may have overlooked before.

Now....tryin to derive from what may be real or is real, is completely impossible. Reality is what your brain perceives it to be. What your senses, thought, and subconscious mind make up is what you perceive as your reality. Nobody has the same reality because nobody can perceive something the same way. What we see and feel could not even be real and there are things we can't see or feel but are there, but because our brain cannot perceive this information to us it doesn't exist.

There's a reason I came up with a saying: "Perhaps there's a reason you cannot prove that something does not exist." example - Logically it's impossible to say ghosts don't exist because the only evidence to support the argument is the lack of, whereas there's all sorts of documented proof that even the harshest disbelievers can't explain. Phenomena in our own world happen all the time that is unexplainable because we cannot see and feel for ourselves what it is or happening

There's a difference between insanity and spirituality combined with logical reasoning. Spirituality does not have to imply religion. Otherkin is not a religion, it's a belief and a very spiritual one. Memories is such past lives are more than likely subconscious images played through our minds in mid sleep or some other method to support the belief to make us happy or to fill a void the our mind was struggling to cope with. Determining the reality of someone else's claims rests solely in that persons own maturity and ability to reflect and debate with themselves to derive what could be. Seeing a persons age is a good maturity indicator, another indicator is see how the person behaves. You can usually tell when a person is diluting themselves into a false reality. Another indicator is when a person says "this is what happened" or "I know I was/am this" without ever showing doubt or anything to suggest they've given the subject enough thought. Something like otherkin deserves a lifetime of thought and internal debate and is not something to be taken as fact just as the very fabric of what we perceive as reality cannot be taken as absolute fact.
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I am trapped between heaven and hell. My wings carry me upon the winds. Above lies heaven, below hell. Yet I must land in hell to soar in heaven. I am a Dragon!

[Daragon]

One thing I heard in a song: "You are not alone in this."
I've seen it in this forum, everyone friendly to each other. Just as a reminder that, you are not alone in this.

Galadriel brings up a good point, reality is as what you percieve. Anything you think is yours and yours alone. I am currently 15 years (16 in July), and I doubt. I don't get aroused by people, and it makes ME angry as well. Sometimes I hate my other, sometimes I pretend it's not there, but it ends the same way each time.

Your posts put much meaning, and I hope any opinion I put doesn't change your mind about who or what you are.

You are not alone in this.
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VICTORY GUM!

[Thelior]

Words can't describe what meaning you have put into this.

Well said...
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Logic is my hero.
Linux is my saviour.